Haribo Sugarless Gummy Candy Reviews
Also known as: Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bear Reviews · Amazon Gummy Bear Reviews
Haribo Sugarless Gummy Candy Reviews are a collection of elaborately written Amazon product reviews for Haribo's sugar-free gummy bears, describing in vivid and often literary detail the extreme gastrointestinal distress caused by the candy's sugar substitute, lycasin. The first notable review appeared in 2006, and the page exploded into internet fame in late 2013 and early 2014 when media outlets picked up the reviews4. The Amazon listing became one of the internet's all-time great examples of comedic collaborative writing, with hundreds of reviewers competing to outdo each other's descriptions of digestive catastrophe.
TL;DR
Haribo Sugarless Gummy Candy Reviews are a collection of elaborately written Amazon product reviews for Haribo's sugar-free gummy bears, describing in vivid and often literary detail the extreme gastrointestinal distress caused by the candy's sugar substitute, lycasin.
Overview
Origin & Background
How It Spread
How to Use This Meme
The Haribo sugar-free gummy bear review format typically follows a pattern:
Set the scene. Establish a normal, innocent situation (a date, a flight, a workday, a walk around the neighborhood).
Introduce the candy. Mention buying or receiving the gummy bears, usually with no idea what's coming.
Escalate dramatically. Describe the onset of gastrointestinal symptoms using increasingly extreme metaphors, literary references, or military terminology.
Reach the climax. The bathroom scene, written with the intensity of a war correspondent filing from the front lines.
Close with a warning. Either a deadpan recommendation to others or a broken, defeated sign-off.
Cultural Impact
Fun Facts
The sugar substitute lycasin tastes almost identical to real sugar. Vice's River Donaghey noted that "Splenda and other artificial sugars have nothing on Lycasin, aside from the alleged diarrhea part".
One BuzzFeed-featured reviewer described the experience of gas escaping for "4.5-5 seconds" continuously, claiming their "external anal sphincter could not do its job" and remained open the entire time.
The Review Party Dot Com writer ate the bears over three sessions (3 bears, then 6, then 17) and experienced only mild gas, proving that individual reactions vary wildly.
Many reviewers gave the product 5 stars despite their horror stories, a strategy to keep the reviews visible and not flagged as malicious.
River Donaghey dreamed about being led to "the most magnificent and ornate bathroom" by a well-groomed gentleman before waking up at 11:51 PM and sprinting to the real toilet.
Frequently Asked Questions
References (5)
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